💅 When You Say “I’m OK” (But You’re Clearly Not): What Therapy Can Teach Us from the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City
Last updated: November 2025
By Tribe Wellness
💡 Key Takeaways
Saying “I’m OK” while crying is more common than you think — it’s a self-protection reflex.
Therapy helps uncover what’s beneath that reflex: fear, shame, grief, or exhaustion.
Real Housewives moments can mirror real emotional defences — and offer healing insight.
LGBTQ+-affirming therapy helps you replace performance with authenticity.
Free 15-minute intro consult → Book with Tribe Wellness.
“I’m OK, I’m OK” — The Millennial Mantra of Emotional Survival
In a recent episode of The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, Lisa Barlow insists, through tears, “I’m OK. I’m OK.” Beside her, Heather Gay looks on — visibly concerned, yet knowing this is part of the emotional theatre every Housewife (and honestly, every millennial) knows too well.
That moment hit differently.
Because we’ve all been Lisa Barlow — trying to hold composure when our inner world is falling apart.
For LGBTQ+ folks especially, “I’m OK” can become a script we learn early: stay calm, stay pleasant, stay safe. It’s a line polished through years of micro-adjusting to fit in — at school, at work, at family dinners where your pronouns go unacknowledged.
But just like Lisa’s glossy exterior cracking under pressure, the truth always finds a way through.
Why We Say “I’m OK” When We’re Not
There’s a reason “I’m OK” comes out so fast — it’s a defence mechanism.
In therapy, we often see this response linked to:
Fear of being a burden: “If I admit I’m struggling, I’ll make things awkward.”
Conditioned independence: “I should be able to handle this myself.”
Avoidance of vulnerability: “If I don’t name it, maybe it’ll pass.”
Research from the Australian Bureau of Statistics (2022) shows that LGBTQ+ Australians are more than 1.7× as likely to experience anxiety or depression. For many of us, self-silencing becomes a way to survive environments that weren’t always safe to express emotion.
What Therapy Offers Instead
Therapy gives you space to pause between “I’m OK” and what’s really happening underneath.
In LGBTQ+-affirming counselling, you can learn to:
Recognise emotional patterns — notice when you minimise your pain.
Build emotional vocabulary — replace “I’m fine” with language that reflects truth.
Untangle shame — understand that needing help isn’t weakness, it’s humanity.
Reclaim authenticity — stop performing OK-ness and start being real.
At Tribe Wellness, we help queer adults across Australia explore these patterns safely through telehealth. No filters. No Housewives-level drama (unless you want to unpack that too).
When Pop Culture Mirrors Our Coping
Reality TV gives us permission to feel.
The Housewives franchise, especially Salt Lake City, has become a queer-coded cultural phenomenon — part camp, part catharsis. For many LGBTQ+ viewers, these exaggerated emotional moments reflect real struggles: the need for acceptance, the conflict between image and identity, and the courage to finally say, “Actually, I’m not OK.”
Therapy invites you to do the same — without the cameras.
Self-Check: Are You Pulling a “Lisa Barlow”?
Take a breath. Ask yourself:
Do you brush off emotion with humour or sarcasm?
Do you overwork or overgive to avoid sitting with your feelings?
Do people think you’re “strong” when you’re really just exhausted?
If any of this sounds familiar, therapy can help shift the pattern. You don’t need to wait for a breakdown scene to deserve support.
For Friends & Partners
If someone close to you pulls a “Lisa” moment — crying but insisting they’re fine — here’s what helps:
Gently say, “You don’t have to be OK right now.”
Ask open-ended questions: “What’s been feeling heavy lately?”
Offer presence, not fixes. Just being there makes a difference.
Ready to Drop the “I’m OK” Act?
You deserve a space where you can be honest — tears, laughter, contradictions and all.
At Tribe Wellness, we provide LGBTQ+-affirming therapy via secure telehealth Australia-wide. No waitlist. No judgment. Just support that understands you.
👉 Book your free 15-minute intro session.
Disclaimer: This blog article is for informational purposes only and should not be considered a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your GP or qualified mental health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.
Tribe Wellness is not an emergency or crisis service. If you need immediate support or feel unsafe because you are experiencing suicidal or self-harm thoughts, please contact Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467, Beyondblue 1300 22 46 36 or Lifeline 13 11 14. For emergency help, call 000.